I understand. I have struggled with infertility almost my entire marriage, I say almost because we had our first year believing we were fertile. We have been married for 26 years and this journey is not over because for me until I literally am past all of the fertility stages I hold out hope that we could be biologically fertile.
So, my story is rather long and complex but for now I am going to simplify it because to be honest I am not ready to spill all of this part of my life. A little history about me before marriage is that I planned on adopting as well has having biological children. We didn't know that plan was not in our control.
May 1990 we got married, we felt pretty in control of our fertility and patted ourselves on the back for being so successful with using the natural rhythm method. Then when we decided to give it try we just thought our timing was off. So after a few attempts we just stopped using any method of birth control. Nearly a year went by, we thought it strange to of not conceived so the long and short of it we got testing. Words can't express the devastation of learning my husband was sterile for unknown medical reasons. We mourned and grieved for an untold number of children.
Currently we have 5 children. All adopted and yes, we get the best ones!! We chose to adopt from the foster care system, children who were not legally free which involved lots of risk, the hardest being emotional. We also adopted embryos and so our youngest child gave me the dream of pregnancy and all that goes with that. Absolutely amazing!
I want to encourage you, yes, you who are reading this and so tired of the label, the tests, the waiting, etc., etc. because while my journey isn't yours I do care a lot about your suffering. I want you and others to know that there is support, that others do care and are mindful of what you are going through.
Stay tuned because I am adding more in the way of info, encouragement, and links. Do know that your fertility does not define you, certainly not all of you and there is hope.